Nine months ago today I was in an auto accident. It was the most frightening experience of my life, feeling my car being flung across the highway and not having any control or power to stop it. My daughter was in the car with me, and I am eternally grateful for the five point harness that kept her safe and secure.
As a mom, I didn’t get much down time for recovery. Not because I didn’t need it, but because we moms keep pushing ourselves until we drop. I ignored my symptoms thinking I was just overly tired and I ought to quit complaining… My husband is the most supportive man in the universe and would have let me rest but I just felt, like many mamas do, that I needed to be useful at all times.
I ran my business faithfully as well, because to me Capturing Grace is my second born child, grown in my imagination rather than in my body. Nothing can compare to holding a brand new baby in my arms and imagining all the potential wrapped in that tiny cuddly body. The magic I get to experience as a newborn photographer is unmatched by anything, with the exception of becoming a mom of course!
Sadly, the Kristy I was before the accident was more efficient and had a lot more energy than the post-accident Kristy. As hard as I tried throughout the Spring, Summer and Fall I just could not keep up with my workload. I found myself guiltily choosing a nap over my To-Do list over and over. I also found myself losing my balance at photo sessions and needing a nap after every newborn session. As moms so often do, I just thought I wasn’t trying hard enough and resolved to do better.
Fortunately (or unfortunately), a recent visit to a neurologist put things in perspective for me. I haven’t been “imagining” symptoms but ignoring them. The concussion I received during the accident is still unhealed, affecting my balance and my vision. The pain I have been feeling ever since the accident turned out to be nerve damage that my body can’t heal if I’m still working as a photographer.
And so it is with great sadness that I am announcing that I will not be taking any more sessions for a while. I’ve always been one who believes in going and going, that resting is for wussies, and all that. But I am 35. My body disagrees! So I am turing my focus to healing. I’m becoming a full time patient. I’ve spent this past week being poked and prodded, receiving laser treatments to try and wake up my brain and my body to encourage them to heal, and performing torturous balance exercises that leave me feeling nauseous and inadequate. I can run a business and raise a small human but I can’t hold my balance to save my life. Sheesh!
My neurologist is confident I will get back to my old self, but apparently it won’t happen on its own and I have to work at it!
So for now I am taking some time away from photography to heal. I will be in contact with anyone who has a session scheduled for the Spring to let you know if your session is still on. For anyone who wishes to schedule a session you can contact me and I can refer you to some amazing photographer friends I have in the area. And when I am healed and back to being ME I will start taking sessions again. I will miss getting to record so many important memories, but it’s time for me to focus on healing so I can be here for the ones I love the most! Please keep in touch and lots of love, Kristy